I have found the junior high to be my ultimate test.
I am way out on a limb when I try to connect with these students. If I try I feel like I am just working to be a friend, if I don't try I can tell they don't give a hoot who I am or what I say. Most of them just cause trouble I think to watch how I react. I react frustrated most of the time because I am beyond frustrated. Although I know this is a learning experience and I know it will help me in the long run I am not happy with this four week sink or swim placement. Coming from a 12 week paradise where I would have worked for free for the rest of the year with kids I love who I still dream about, worry about, and hope that they are achieving their goals and making progress to a place where most students just call me Jordan is very hard to swallow. I gladly got to go back to see some of my littles this past week and I couldn't believe how they had grown. I was over the moon giving hugs and just seeing those smiles. I miss them everyday and I miss feeling comfortable and knowing what I am doing. I want to be able to own the room and take control but in just four weeks this is hard to do. As I get up everyday I just try to absorb everything I see, do, feel and remember that I am a teacher. I want to share my knowledge with kids no matter their age and I am capable of doing so.
As Thanksgiving break approaches I keep reminding myself how thankful I am for all that I have including an education that is going to lead me into doing what I have wanted to do since entering Mrs. Katzing's kindergarten class, TEACH!
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