Leaving is like going through the stages of grief.
Monday I was in total denial. I just kept saying to myself you don't have to go, just keep showing up. I got my first set of cards and I read the sweet notes and just acted like I would for sure come back. There were some misty eyes when one of my fourth grade girls hugged me for a long time. She is a big sister and wonderful artist. I would say we both love a lot and made that connection.
Tuesday I felt like okay I can do this. I can say bye and give hugs and know that there are tons of teachers who love these kids like I do and will care for them. Leaving won't be too hard until a little girl in first grade touches your hand and tells you how much she will miss you.
It's Wednesday and I am just feeling devastated that I have to leave. It's like someone told me yesterday but really I have known for months and months this day would come and I am sad. I just love the school that I am in and the kids are just amazing. I'm going to really miss getting to know them more and more and watching them grow.
I have been thinking about the grade levels quite a bit and how each one is so different from the other. When I see FOURTH GRADE I know there will be a split between workers and talkers. My fourth graders love Minecraft and music so we always have tunes playing. These are my smallest groups and the most mellow. THIRD GRADE has worried me the whole twelve weeks I have been at the school They are a troublesome bunch...like diamonds in the rough. You really have to polish them up individually to see them shine. This week I said challenge yourself and see what happens when you teach them, It went really well! I was very excited and hope they become more aware of others as they grow up. SECOND GRADE is my little group of artists. These kids come in day after day ready to work. They are also amazingly quiet and focused. I love to see their creativity. After these grades come in I get a lunch break and then I have lunch duty with mixed age. OLDER MIXED AGE is an amazing community to watch. These students really work together and carry one another. There are also a couple mature beyond their years that I have found I really enjoy talking to. BABY MIXED AGE (my own nickname for them) are a handful. They have some very strong personalities in their group but their diversity makes them quite interesting. It's very fun to listen in on their conversations because their interests and values differ so much. They are also a very smiley group even if they are being disruptive. It is hard not to love OLDER and BABY MIXED AGE. I also know them best because I see them every single day. I would love for everyone in FIRST GRADE to worry about themselves but since that doesn't usually happen I just go with the flow. They tattle quite a bit but they also love art so its a trade off, listen to the tattles get good artwork. I love watching them assert some independence and be able to do more around the school because they have made it through the first year. This brings me to KINDERGARTEN...a grade I never imagined loving as much as I do now. Between runny noses, untied shoes, paint in hair, rolling on the floor, taking naps in art, and everything else I have found that I just love these kids. I would take them all home if it wasn't illegal. There is just something about kindergarten that makes my heart swoon. I could tell you something I love about each and everyone of them. I am just drawn to their little faces and they truly make me so happy.
Here is a very long mid-week progress report of how I am handling the sadness of leaving one heck of a school. I am beyond thankful to have had this time and I plan on fully enjoying my last two days. I can also assure you that the end of the week post will have pictures!
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