It's all over with..for now..

It's been over a month since I blogged and it feels like two days. Once the semester started wrapping up the bow was slapped on top so quickly that I ran out of time to function. I have been struggling since the end of the semester figuring out where I am and what I am doing. Plus I have all this time and yet don't have a clue what to do with it. In fact I probably waste more than I should. So here is what happened since my last blog post.

I finished out the junior high! It was a huge relief. The junior high was such a test for me, I had hives everyday, lost all my confidence, and felt like I was drowning in a new sea of students. I know that the experience was one of learning and of course value but at the time I was just lost. I wasn't a "teacher" here, the kids had bigger issues, and there was no way for me to overcome my position to them because I was leaving just as soon as I had learned their names. Ultimately I think DESE made the poor choice here in changing the amount of time at our placements and I feel like if I had more time I could have had a more positive experience.

Graduation came so quickly like I blinked and it was over. I literally felt like I was in a time warp that Saturday. It was a wonderful feeling to know that I had worked very hard and reached my goal.
My family and friends celebrated with me at an after graduation lunch. I just soaked it all in because I REALLY have great friends and family and I love to spend time with them.



Since graduation there have been some sleepless nights, some tears, and a lot of cleaning. I really felt like I would graduate my life with fall together and I would feel this completeness but actually I was tired, wondering how I would keep my self occupied, and lost. I have spent a lot of time self reflecting and talking it out with my loved ones and I have come to realize I met my first major goal in life so it's time to set a new one. I can't slow down because time is still ticking by and I have many more things ahead of me like my wedding, finding my first job, and more!

So it's time for this blog to take a new direction as well as my life towards the wedding! We have like half a year and I really need to kick it into high gear. Starting now...literally I am at my mom's with planner in hand!!

(Sorry for all the rhyming me and Lexi have been reading a ton of rhyming books.)

Frustrated and Thankful

I have found the junior high to be my ultimate test.

 I am way out on a limb when I try to connect with these students. If I try I feel like I am just working to be a friend, if I don't try I can tell they don't give a hoot who I am or what I say. Most of them just cause trouble I think to watch how I react. I react frustrated most of the time because I am beyond frustrated. Although I know this is a learning experience and I know it will help me in the long run I am not happy with this four week sink or swim placement. Coming from a 12 week paradise where I would have worked for free for the rest of the year with kids I love who I still dream about, worry about, and hope that they are achieving their goals and making progress to a place where most students just call me Jordan is very hard to swallow. I gladly got to go back to see some of my littles this past week and I couldn't believe how they had grown. I was over the moon giving hugs and just seeing those smiles. I miss them everyday and I miss feeling comfortable and knowing what I am doing. I want to be able to own the room and take control but in just four weeks this is hard to do. As I get up everyday I just try to absorb everything I see, do, feel and remember that I am a teacher. I want to share my knowledge with kids no matter their age and I am capable of doing so.

As Thanksgiving break approaches I keep reminding myself how thankful I am for all that I have including an education that is going to lead me into doing what I have wanted to do since entering Mrs. Katzing's kindergarten class, TEACH!

Leaving the Littles...

Friday was my last day at the elementary school. I made it the whole day with no tears (thanks to Thursday night when I cried myself silly before bed)! I got so many cards, hugs, and sweet goodbyes. I certainly learned a lot in my first placement and created awesome bonds with many people.

Monday bright and early I headed right into that junior high school with my head up and big girl pants on. When I went through the school district the schools went K-5, 6-8, 9-12. My "high school" is now the junior high which houses 7-9. The building is very familiar to me but the way the kids act is not. It was a huge culture shock for me but went better than I thought it would. Obviously the kids are older and more independent but they are lovable, some more than others. I just keep reminding myself to think about how I was at their age and what they are going through. Like always the hardest kids to deal with are going through some of the hardest things in life. Making the adjustment is not easy nor natural but it is something I can work at. I also have a great supportive teacher who is ready to show me anything I ask.

Overall, I know that I want to be a teacher and that I could be successful regardless of grade level. Three days in and I am just not sure how I feel about 7-9 graders. They do make some fabulous art though.

Last Week Mid-Week Update

Leaving is like going through the stages of grief.

Monday I was in total denial. I just kept saying to myself you don't have to go, just keep showing up. I got my first set of cards and I read the sweet notes and just acted like I would for sure come back. There were some misty eyes when one of my fourth grade girls hugged me for a long time. She is a big sister and wonderful artist. I would say we both love a lot and made that connection.

Tuesday I felt like okay I can do this. I can say bye and give hugs and know that there are tons of teachers who love these kids like I do and will care for them. Leaving won't be too hard until a little girl in first grade touches your hand and tells you how much she will miss you.

It's Wednesday and I am just feeling devastated that I have to leave. It's like someone told me yesterday but really I have known for months and months this day would come and I am sad. I just love the school that I am in and the kids are just amazing. I'm going to really miss getting to know them more and more and watching them grow.

I have been thinking about the grade levels quite a bit and how each one is so different from the other. When I see FOURTH GRADE I know there will be a split between workers and talkers. My fourth graders love Minecraft and music so we always have tunes playing. These are my smallest groups and the most mellow. THIRD GRADE has worried me the whole twelve weeks I have been at the school They are a troublesome bunch...like diamonds in the rough. You really have to polish them up individually to see them shine. This week I said challenge yourself and see what happens when you teach them, It went really well! I was very excited and hope they become more aware of others as they grow up. SECOND GRADE is my little group of artists. These kids come in day after day ready to work. They are also amazingly quiet and focused. I love to see their creativity. After these grades come in I get a lunch break and then I have lunch duty with mixed age. OLDER MIXED AGE is an amazing community to watch. These students really work together and carry one another. There are also a couple mature beyond their years that I have found I really enjoy talking to. BABY MIXED AGE (my own nickname for them) are a handful. They have some very strong personalities in their group but their diversity makes them quite interesting. It's very fun to listen in on their conversations because their interests and values differ so much. They are also a very smiley group even if they are being disruptive. It is hard not to love OLDER and BABY MIXED AGE. I also know them best because I see them every single day. I would love for everyone in FIRST GRADE to worry about themselves but since that doesn't usually happen I just go with the flow. They tattle quite a bit but they also love art so its a trade off, listen to the tattles get good artwork. I love watching them assert some independence and be able to do more around the school because they have made it through the first year. This brings me  to KINDERGARTEN...a grade I never imagined loving as much as I do now. Between runny noses, untied shoes, paint in hair, rolling on the floor, taking naps in art, and everything else I have found that I just love these kids. I would take them all home if it wasn't illegal. There is just something about kindergarten that makes my heart swoon. I could tell you something I love about each and everyone of them. I am just drawn to their little faces and they truly make me so happy.

Here is a very long mid-week progress report of how I am handling the sadness of leaving one heck of a school. I am beyond thankful to have had this time and I plan on fully enjoying my last two days.  I can also assure you that the end of the week post will have pictures! 

We know about you...

"We know about you...we know you are going to go teach somewhere else."
 I had to miss class this week to get my cap and gown and go to a meeting. While I was gone the subject of where I was came up and some classes got the news that I would be leaving. So I have slowly told my students that this is my last week. I can really hardly believe it. I think time has sped up and I just don't like it. I want to stay there forever and ever like Neverland. Which is completely nuts. I know.

This week I heard all kinds of new descriptive words like fancy and lovely being tossed around the room. It makes my heart smile to think the students are so happy about what they are making that its not just good or nice its fancy!

I will say I now know why teachers like Halloween to be on Fridays. The kids were so excitable and loud Friday I really had to work to keep everything together. I was very excited myself because it was my first Halloween off since I began working at 17. Despite the holiday we were able to make some fantastic art! One of the funnest parts of my day was with first grade. At the end of class over the intercom the Munster's theme song played and then our principal talked about Halloween safety so I panicked thinking the kids needed to get lined up. I lined them up and looked at the clock and there was 8 minutes left! 8 minutes is an eternity in first grade so I turned on the monster mash and we did the twist. It was hilarious to have them follow along with me and a good way to shake out some jitters before their fall parties.

Here is to all the love I will share my last week in Placement #1.

Two weeks left!

I have two weeks left at my elementary school and I have already cried about it this week. I really love the school I am in, I'd like to take more than my fair share of kids home, annnd I have an amazing group of educators around me that I love to learn from. I just really can't imagine not seeing these people everyday and being a creature of habit doesn't help me anticipate the change that is going to come.

One of my favorite things about having students in the art room is just allowing them to be them! I try really hard to let their creative juices flow freely and cater to their needs. I love listening to their stories and watching them interact. I have a few students who really stick to the individuality in fact one declared herself just E. So of course I had to go with it because who hasn't thought about trying a new name before? I also love that the students are able to feel like they can be an individual in our room because all artwork is unique!

This week we had a few fun station days to relieve some of the stress around parent teacher conferences. One of the items students could work with was modeling clay. We had some extruders out that when you pushed the clay through it made "hair." One of my little girls was asking another student to use it and calling a wig maker. She is very petite and her voice is very small so hearing her say "Can I use the wig maker now?" was too much for me and I couldn't help but laugh. I will certainly be using that technical name in my future classroom!

This week I shoot some images of student artwork so you can see what we have been working on.

:)

Get that ball rollin'!

Man, once the ball starts rollin' it keeps on going! I have successfully taken on full days of teaching. It has been so much fun! I am really hitting that comfort spot and realizing that this time is not going to last forever. Sad but true, so here is to the good times! (and a longer post next week)

Sorry Michelangelo I had to censor this for my classroom! This was so hilarious to me!